I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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