the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
