clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
