I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
