You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
