Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
