Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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