i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
