If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You're like the curious george of whores
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
