I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Semen is not good for contacts.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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