So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
