She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
