I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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