That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
