Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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