Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
