you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
