just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i think my mom watched the whole time
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
