the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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