dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
