I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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