Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
