I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
