And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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