you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize