It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
