I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
