dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
