i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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