For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
