arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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