I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
