Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
