Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just tell him i said nine months
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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