hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize