And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
