also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
