It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
