it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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