Pants 0. Shit 1.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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