i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
