The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
