Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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