I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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