he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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