I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wish I only lived at night.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
