She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you had me at cake vodka
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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