Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Please don't give away my fajitas
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
