Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We have started to decorate penises.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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