remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
