Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
