lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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