suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I feel like death gave me a hand job
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Fuck me I smell like cheese
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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