Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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