the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
