walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
is it fun? or sober?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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