OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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