just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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